I was at the mall the other day and ran into a woman I know from our story time days. Her daughter is 2 weeks younger than my kids, who will be four in the fall. We started chit-chatting, and somehow brought up school. Preschool, of course. They are three years old.
She informed me her daughter is in tutoring this summer. I must have had a perplexed look on my face, because she went on to explain. “Yes, her G’s are slanted when she writes them. And her E’s sometimes have 4 lines instead of three.” Then she looked at me pointedly, as if those were the most obvious reasons as to why her three-year old is being tutored all summer.
I just said “oh” while she continued on listing a few other letters and the issues her daughter had with each one. I felt this overwhelming urge to start cracking up. It was bubbling up and was about to overflow. She was so serious about it, I knew I had to remain solemn.
After we parted ways, this conversation really stuck in my head. I kept thinking about my three-year olds, and I know they do not even know how to write every letter of the alphabet, much less have an issue with each one. I began to question myself, my kids. Should I be working with them more? Should I be worried they do not write every letter? Should I even be worried about this? I mean, we all want our kids to be smart and successful, but at what cost?
Maybe it’s just me. I want my kids to be kids. We all know that the older we get, the more responsibilities we have, the more work we have, the more we have to worry about. I want my kids to enjoy endless summers, know what boredom is, and have a blast. I look back on my childhood summers so fondly. The days seemed to last for weeks; the weeks for months. Summer was something I always looked forward to. Playing Red Light Green Light, Ghost in the Graveyard, having lemonade stands.
Not sitting in a classroom at three years old perfecting their slanted G’s.
What do you think? Is life so competitive now that our preschoolers need an upper hand? I know it is good to help our kids, give them any advantage they can get. Red shirting is also gaining popularity these days; some people find it controversial. There are countless articles and conversations on it, experts weighing in on every angle. My kids will probably be “red shirted” and I am not doing so for sports. I just do not want them to fall behind or struggle because they would be the youngest.
But tutoring in preschool? When is enough enough?
I believe kids only have one chance to be 3 or 6 or 8 or even 12! Let them have that opportunity to enjoy each age. Have you seen the quote, “life is a journey, not a race.” This child will learn how to make the letters correctly. My son repeated his 3 year old preschool class – not for sports but he was young and I didn’t want him to be a follower, I wanted him to be a strong person. He’s 31 now and I never ever regretted it.
Susan- glad I am not the only one. Thanks for your comment!
I think maintaining some sort of “schooling” over the summer is very beneficial. I’m not talking about tutoring or hitting the books for hours every day while school is out, just some maintenance here and there. I think it’s especially useful for the younger grades when kids are just learning reading and math skills. As for tutoring for a 3 year old to improve their printing skills – well, yeah, that doesn’t make any sense to me. I can’t think of any reason that a child that young would need a tutor to make perfect G’s.
I have no idea what red shirting is. I’ll have to add it to my list of things to google!
Shayna – I totally agree on the maintenance thing.
Red shirting is taking a child with a “late” birthday – summer and early fall – and sending them to school at 6 rather than 5. Some people think it gives them an advantage because they are not so young and won’t struggle academically. Some people like it better for sports, because their child is at an advantage for size as well. It has pros and cons. That is a quick version.
My 14 year old has the weirdest S’s and the most bizarre K’s and she’s brilliant. That lady sounds obsessive to me but then again I was trying to keep my 3 year old from getting into my makeup or the boy child from dismantling the toaster with his dad’s tools so to each his own. Maybe she’s a “Tiger Mom”.
Ursula — cracking UP at the Tiger Mom comment, and only because every time I hear that, I think of a Cougar Mom!!
I have to tell you, I didn’t send my kids to preschool, for a plethora of reasons, but mainly because I wanted my girls to have unstructured, non-competitive play for as long as they could. When they got to Kindergarten, they couldn’t yet read or write their letters, but neither could many other kids. The kids that could read and write when they got to K didn’t seem to be any better off than the other kids, however, because they were bored out of their minds. Kindergarten was just practicing preschool for those kiddies. By the end of the school year, my kids had caught up to all their preschooled classmates. Preschool is wonderful in many ways– a daycare option, a head start on learning social skills, a head start on adapting to schedules, etc– but the competitiveness of it all has gotten out of hand.
Christina – I agree – the competitiveness is crazy! And some schools/parents are so much worse than others. I am just worried about potty training at this point!
Love your blog and following you via BlogHop!!
Thanks!! I started following you a few weeks ago!
I just wanted to drop by and say hello and let you know I am following you from the blog hop. I love your blog and look forward to reading more of your posts.
Thanks for stopping!!
I totally know what you mean. I really think that kids are pushed too hard these days, and I also think that pushing a kid too hard can have the opposite of the intended effect, in that they get burnt out, overly stressed, or rebellious. Stopping by from the TGIF Blog Hop. I’m already following you, but just thought I’d say Hi and congrats on being the featured blog this week!
Have a great weekend.
-Laura
Laura – thanks for the comment & support! I already follow you, too!!!
Jessi
I am all for dedication to school work and working hard through out the school year, but summer is summer. Childhood is the only time that you three straight months of being totally care free every single year. While my kids don’t earn anything less than a B during the school year and are busy accomplishing that, in the summer they get to play tag with the neighborhood kids, run through the sprinklers, ride their bikes, paint, do fun messy projects all day, every day. I don’t even make them read unless they are REALLY, REALLY BORED!! ;o) I must say though, that my kids love to write stories and letters though, so they are still practicing but they don’t realize it. I think that’s the key, make the learning fun if you are going to insist that they learn over the summer.
Carmen
http://www.thetriplebs.com